Missing a bestfriend.
27 Jun 2015 | 12:31 PG | 0 comments
Hi, we meet again.
So here's my story begin.
I have a close guy bestfriend since primary school. Me, him & his twin brother. Three of us attend a same school, SK Jalan Pegawai. Let me introduce their name, Aizat Aminuddin(adik) & Amir Aminuddin (abang) We tend to jokes around a lot. We even went to the teachers room after school because their mother is a teacher and we spend hours playing together, all of childhood games such as "police&thief, tuju kasut, tuju lemak, aci ligan & else" till my parents came and pick me home. I'm more closer to aizat than amir. I'm more friendly with aizat.
Well, i do miss those memories a lot when we grew up. We became a close friend till 2010 & now.
2010. I had to transfer to another school in Sungai Petani, Kedah. Our distance became far. We lost contact with each other. Time tu, semua tak maju lagi. Semua tak layan wc ws insta lagi. Layan fb ja time tu. They add me on facebook & we chat a lot with each other, reminding our past memories. Jokes around each other like the old days.
2011 till 2013, I tend to lost my phone number. I could'nt sign in to facebook. Because i set up a security fr my fb since i've been hacked twice. In order to sign in, i need to enter 4 digit of number (passcode), which is those passcode will be send to my phone number (message). I lost my number, i could'nt reach those passcode, i could'nt sign in my facebook. Once again, we lost contact.
2014. Oktober, November & December of 2014. Aizat reached me first! I'm so glad that he still remember me when i'm far away. He add me on my wechat. I did'nt know when, what and how did he managed to keep in touch and find me wechat id. I did'nt know till now. Start from this, we became a lot closer. One day, my family and i went to our old house in Alor Setar. I spend my evening with my friends & we "meronda" a lot. Then, the next day. Aizat send me a wechat message, saying that he saw me with my friends. He said, he called & shout my name out loud so many times and I did'nt even notice that. I did'nt notice where he was maybe because i'm too busy chatting with my friends. Start from the day he saw me again, he said "hajja! jatt rindu hajja! tadi jatt nampak hajja dekat kedai tu tengah sembang dengan kawan kawan. jatt panggil hajja tak kalih pun. nanti, jom ronda sama sama. jangan lupa jatt tau. nanti kita ronda, tau tau!". Then i said "alright jatt, nanti hajja balik as lagi hajja contact jatt kita ronda kita spend time macam dulu". The next day, i balik sp, because my parents too busy with their works, i tak boleh nak balik as. So i forget those promises I made with jatt.
2015. January. Four month already since we contact & keep in touch with each other. One day, I balik alor setar. I don't remember the date. I lupa nak contact bagitau jatt cakap i balik alor setar. That day, evening, i gi taman permainan, lepak dengan girlfriends. Dekat hujung taman tu ada jalan then ada palang, in short, boleh lepak la. Lepas palang tu, jalan untuk ke taman lain & ke masjid dan sebagainya. Tapi time tu, I saw a bunch of boys. Then i saw someone familiar. And he saw me too. He kept staring weirdly at me & i feel so weird that times. Then i saja saja lalu kot depan depa nampak muka dia. NAH! at first till the end of that day, i thought it was jatt. I kept staring at him. I'm too shy to approach that boy who I thought it was jatt because he is with his friends.
Then, balik tu, i wc jatt. I cakap i nampak dia. I bagitau i malu apa semua. Then jatt cakap tu bukan dia. So I was quite dissapointed. Jatt cakap "Tu bukan jatt la. Jatt tak keluaq rumah pun harini. Tu amett kot.", then I can't believe it, so i wc amett, tanya perkara sebenar. And yes! its amett (amir), abang kembar jatt. No wonder amett pun stay quiet not trying to approach me first. The next day i balik sp. I told jatt cakap i dah balik sp. Jatt was like "alaa baru nak ajak jumpa meronda apa semua".
Till 24 January (I rasa la), i tak balik alor setar. Then, I dapat satu berita buruk. Someone post a moment, cakap jatt dah takda. Time tu, i kat luar, tengah baru nak makan dengan family. Then, i lost all my appetite because of the news. I was like, i'm going to cry but i can't because its too embrassing to cry infront of a lot of people in that restaurant. Dari awal sampai balik, sampai rumah, i keep forcing my mom. I cakap "Ma. Ma ingat jatt dak? Depa kata dia accident, meninggal. Jomla esok balik tengok dia!" and my mama said we can't because mama ada kerja. I was dissapointed. Yes, a lot!
Amett pun menghilangkan diri lepas news tu. I means, Amett mendiamkan diri & don't even reply me and others wc. Maybe he's too busy or too sad (BERSANGKA BAIK). Dalam 2 3 hari, amett reply wc, amett cakap "selagi badan aizat ada depan aku, dia tak mati lagi, aizat coma." Truth is, its quite heartbreaking for me. In my heart & mind, the only things popped out is "Nak balik jugak kot mana pun nak tengok aizat".
28 OR 29 January 2015. I wasn't quite sure what date it is, but its weekend day. I ajak mama balik alor setar. Mama bawak balik alor setar sebab dia tak busy. At 2pm, i balik alor setar and then terus lajak tengok jatt kat ICU, Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah. On my way to ICU, i saw amett with his brother, amett was quite swollen and sad and quiet and didn't smile at me at all.
So, i proceed to ICU with my mom. Ya Allah. Sepanjang jalan, hati i tak tenang gila. Kaki tangan badan i semua rasa lemah semacam. I don't know why. Sampai ja depan ward tu, serious jujur i cakap, ramai gila orang, dan ramai ramai tu, semua yang mai haritu semua mai nak tengok jatt. So we stand in turn. Tunggu turn nak masuk. Bila sampai turn i, i masuk, alone, then guard yang iring i tu tanya i ni siapa, i cakap kawan since sekolah rendah, then guard tu ajak i patah balik, guard tu cakap, parents aizat, tak bagi kawan kawan masuk tengok jatt. So, my mama suruh guard tu masuk tanya parents jat, suruh sebut nama i, kawan sekolah rendah dia, dari sp, nak masuk tengok dia. Then guard tu pun pi la tanya. Alhamdullilah, teacher i which is mak aizat, bagi i masuk.
I masuk dengan my mama. Everything started to hit me. I was too weak at that times. I slow down my steps. I prepared my heart, my eyes. But its failed! Bila i masuk tu, i nampak mak dia, ayah dia, i ada depan jat, i could'nt speak a word, i could'nt take my eyes off of him. I could'nt do anything. He was in coma. My tears start to fall like a river. I'm crying a river. Mak aizat still continue to read Surah Yassin fr aizat. I read alfatihah in my heart fr preparing my heart.
Then, mama cakap, "pi la cakap dengan jat". I tried BUT i could'nt. My tears just keep falling. I don't have the strength. Its hurt me........then mama pi bisik dekat telinga jat, "Assalamualaikum jatt. Makcik mai ni. Makcik bawak darwisyah ni tengok jat". Then, terus lagi laju air mata i mengalir. Ya Allah. Memang i kaku tak tahu nak cakap nak buat apa. I just could'nt.
Then, i need to leave. Sebab yalah, ada ramai lagi orang nak tengok jat. Ada ramai lagi yang tak dapat masuk. So, i salam tangan mak jat. I usha jat sampai i hilang bayang dia. After melawat jat, i terus proceed balik sp. On my way back to sp, i keep remembering aizatt. My tears just wont stop. Sampai ja sp, i terlelap, i ngantuk mungkin sebab nangis sepanjang hari.
30 January 2015. The next day, i tak pasti pukul berapa, I dapat lagi news, cakap aizatt dah meninggal. I can't help myself. I'm down. I'm crushed down. My hearts break a lot. I have an headache. I macam " Ya Allah. baru semalam pi melawat dia, tengok tengok harini dah tak ada. Ya Allah, menyesalnya.". Its not that i regret something i should'nt. I menyesal sebab i tak dapat nak tunai janji i dengan dia. I menyesal sebab tak dapat nak spend time and ronda sama sama dengan dia. I menyesal sangat. Tak sangka, that day was the last day I saw him (in coma). Amett and his family struggle a lot. Amett seems too depressed and sad fr losing his twin. In the end, I calm myself, my parents and siblings and friends calmed me too. So i thought, Allah loved him more. Allah won't let him suffer through coma, Allah just loves him. Al Fatihah.
27 June 2015. A lot of days has passed by. A lot months has passed me by. Now, i'm missing him more. I just could'nt forget everything. I'm just grateful that he contact me first and find me first. I could'nt forget everything i saw & everything he said to me. Like seriously, I'm missing him a lot. I'm regretting fr not fullfiling our promises. Everything hit me back right now. Our old memories since childhood. Ours conversation & more. Now, if i miss him, the only picture and person I can see is his twin older brothers, Amett. The only person i can communicate & contact is amett. Now, everything turns into memories. Thankyou fr a good memories, Aizat. I miss you.
Alhamdullilah. Thankyou Aizat fr existing in my life fr a while. Thankyou fr finding me first when we lost contact fr a few years. Thankyou Amett fr being there, replacing aizat fr me. Thankyou amett fr keep in touch with me too. I'm just grateful fr everything of both of you. Thankyou.